Update

Oh how I have neglected thee. Sorry readers! My life has taken some amazing turns the past few months, so I thought I would update you:

1. I QUIT SCHOOL!!! Oh yeah, I said it. It feels GREAT. PhD??? Who needs it??? I realized that I had lost any and all passion for research or academia. I don't really know if I will ever go back...I am assuming I will after I refocus, but for right now...SWEET GLORIOUS FREEDOM

2. I recently discovered that although I was completely unprepared for the job I ended up with this year, I am unbelievably good at what I do. Furthermore, I love what I do. Get your barf bag ready cause I'm going to say it: I have found my calling. Being paid to be an artist is pretty much the raddest thing ever.

3. I got a pit bull puppy! Her name is Pickles. She snores. I adore her.

4. For some reason my best friend will always be 19 to me. We are both in our 30's now, but she will forever remain that clumsy, hilarious, awkward, fluffernutter from years ago...This is why I love her. Why is this important? Because she has offered me the most permanence in my entire life. This realization was a shock, however it makes the future seem much more clear.

5. I broke my wrist in two places after falling down some stairs. After wearing a cast for two and half months it was removed, leaving me with a smelly arm that was half the size it used to be. Just as I was beginning to regain strength in my arm...I got swine flu. Swine flu used to be funny, hilarious in fact, until it made me wish for a swift death. Swine flu is no joke. It sucks balls big time. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

6. I returned to my old hermit ways and it is FANTASTIC. Being social does not suit me and only spawns poor behavior and bad habits.

7. I still smoke. Get over it.

8. I lost over 35 pounds and I am down 4 pants sizes. As someone who has faithfully bought her jeans at Lane Bryant for over 12 years, I can proudly say that their jeans no longer fit me properly. This still hasn't fully set in my mind. The fact that I have to go to crap holes such as Gap and American Eagle to buy jeans now is slightly annoying. Also, the weight loss shrunk my boobs significantly. I'm not complaining about this, but going from a men's (I only really were men's shirts) extra large to a men's medium or small feels weird. There are times when my new body feels slightly foreign to me. But all in all, I must admit, it feels pretty damn good to have people take notice of my new body. The strangest part of it all...I didn't try to lose all this weight, it just sort of happened...and continues to happen. So odd. But after being assured that there is nothing wrong with me, I have stopped questioning it and am just allowing myself to enjoy it.

9. This my friends is the most important update. For the past 2 months I have been sleeping on average 7 hours a night. Anyone who know me know that I have been an insomniac since I was a preteen. Now I sleep like a regular person..I even nap sometimes. This process did not happen naturally. I had to set a curfew for myself for the Internet, had to set a very strict evening schedule and had to teach my brain that between 10pm and 5am it has to sleep. I still struggle... I can't tell you how often I wake up at 3am convinced that it is time to get up and start my day, but this happens more and more less frequently. I am ashamed to say that I still sleep in my clothes more often than I sleep in my pajamas...fail.

10. I am going to attempt to blog at least once a week. I work 45-60 hours a week so this will be difficult. But I must admit, I have missed you dearly. I'm not making any promises, but I will try to get back in the swing of this.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day!

See you soon,

Jem

Weekly Mixtape

I know its been awhile since I have posted a mixtape, but I do believe this one will make up for it. I went to an awesome show last night and saw (and met!) Cars Can Be Blue and The Lovely Eggs. Also, I'm in love with Ladytron. Here is a little sampler of all three. Enjoy!

The Lovely Eggs:

Cars Can Be Blue:

Ladytron:

Back and Ready to Blog!

I'm back! Oh what a difference a month makes. There is so much I would like to tell you all but instead I will sum it up and make it short and sweet: I am so damn happy right now its disgusting. I am like a walk
ing Lisa Frank sticker.
Anyway, I'm not going to bore you with the details, I'm just going to jump right back in to the musing.

1. Enjoy these songs. They will make you feel amazing in your ear parts:




2. This video is radtastic in soooo many ways, but I chose to focus on the last 3 seconds (cat+mittens+table+fall= queer laughing until she pees). Observe:


3. I want one of these

Thats all I have for ya tonight friends. Talk to you tomorrow!

one month

Hey guys,
So I am going to have to take a one month hiatus from the good old blog. I am SWAMPED with work and school and will be traveling for the better part of August. I am also focusing on my zine and music a bit more as they are a better creative outlet for me right now. I may have a couple of posts here and there and I am trying to line up some guest bloggers for you. Sorry, I know a lot of you have just started reading regularly, but life has sucked the blogger out of me. Have a great rest of the summer! See you in September!
MostlyTrueJem

oops

Sorry guys. I am taking a very brief blog hiatus. I will be back and posting everyday next week.
Until then, enjoy Peaches' crotch:

awesome interview with Jamie Babbit

So if you are a lesbian between 21 and 35, then you have more than likely seen a Jamie Babbit movie. Jamie Babbit= But I'm a Cheerleader and Itty Bitty Titty Committee, two of my favorite movies of all time. Babbit was interviewed yesterday and the interview will make you respect her even more than I am sure you already do. Any female director that uses and ENTIRELY female crew to film her movies is amazing to me. Anyway, enjoy the interview.

More Lesbian Entertainment & Video

Weekly Mixtape: Radtastic Female Vocals

This week's mixtape features songs with AWESOME female vocals. I must admit that I personally favor songs with female vocals. What about you?

Anyway, enjoy this woman-rific mix!

1. Astronaut- Amanda Palmer

2. Margie-Heathers

3. Consequence of Sounds- Regina Spektor

4. You did it!- You Say Party! We Say Die!

5. Kiss With A Fist- Florence And The Machine

6. Won’t Say Anything- Hello Seahorse!

7. Psychic City- YATCHT

8. Dance Dance Dance-Lykki Li

9. Cacophony- Tilly and the Wall (there are male vocals too, I kinda cheated on this one)

10. Dirty Girls- Courtney Love (Say what you will about Courtney Love, but I will always remain loyal)

11. Ladybug Superfly- Slant 6

12. Jerusalem- Mirah

13. House Jam- Gang Gang Dance

Confession...

*I recently realized that I am mediocre at most of my talents, however, I am an incredible songwriter.

*It took me a longtime to admit that I am a talented songwriter. 

*It made me feel self-impressed.

*I hate self-impressed people.

*If I've ever loved you (romantically or otherwise), I've written a song about you and you have never heard it.

*Chances are, you never will.

*I write songs about people, give them to real musicians, and then walk away.

*The last song I wrote about someone got played on the radio. She never heard it and never will. 

*I'm OK with that.

whooping cough

It makes you feel like this.

Yikes

Turn the Table on the Felines

If you own a cat, then you know what it is like to be ignored by the little bastard. Cats have made us humans their bitches. We clean their poo, feed them, buy them toys and love them, and what do we get in return??? A whole lot of indifference to our very existence. However, you can turn the table on your kitty. How, you ask? Ignore the little fucker. It will be begging you for attention in minutes.
Observe:

The 10 Step Program to Ending Amorous Feelings Addiction

It's kind of like alcoholics anonymous, but for those addicted to amorous feelings...

Step One: Admit you have a problem
This step is the hardest step. You cannot be successful at this 1o step program until you are ready to admit you have a problem and be honest with yourself about your addiction as well being honest with others.

Step Two: Be willing to change
This step is almost as hard as the first step. Your first instinct is to hold on to you amorous affections. Even when they feel bad, they feel good. But you have to be ready to let the feelings go. A trap that many people fall into is to attempt to replace their feelings for one person with another person. This is a deadly mistake. All you will end up doing is hurting yourself more and hurting your replacement in the process. When you are actually willing to change, you must being willing to give up on the amorous feelings completely. It will hurt. You will go through withdrawal. Your body will shake, you'll sweat, you'll be sick to your stomach, you'll cry, you'll yell, you'll oversleep, you'll under sleep...the list goes on. However, this withdrawal process is not permanent. Withdrawal can take between two weeks to six months to get over (sometimes longer or shorter, results vary from person to person), but they will subside with time. Step two is the longest step, but the good news is that, after step two, it is all downhill.

Step Three: Stop watching movies that make you think of your amorous feelings

You know you do it. You go to your Netflix and fill your queue with movies that remind you of your feelings, or may even briefly make you feel them again. Movies like this or this. These movies make you believe that you will only find one true love, and that you are a complete douche bag for letting your one true love pass you by. This is a lie. You will love many people in your life. Maybe you didn't even love this person, maybe you just severely liked them, but you will also severely like many people in your life. You will date the same person (in the form of different people) over and over again in your life until you chose which one to stick with. This is a fact. Don't fall into the trap of letting movies continue your amorous addiction. Watch movies like this or this instead. 

Step Four: Stop listening to music that reminds you of your amorous feelings

This is slightly more difficult than to quit watching movies about love. You get in your car, you put that CD in the CD player and listen to songs like this and this feel that love over and over and over again. STOP. NOW. This will only make you want to go back to and hold on to your amorous feelings. Songs will make you believe that those feelings are salvageable. Either don't listen to music in your car, or listen to shit like this. 

Step Five: Stop writing poems, short stories, painting or drawing pictures or writing songs about your amorous feeling/broken heart

Stop being a depressed asshole and move one. Your "art" is only making you sad and other people annoyed with you. Nobody actually likes poetry anyway. Your short stories make you sound like Sylvia Plath and you songs just sound like you're whining. As for your paintings and drawings... it's not modern art, its just scribbles and lines that scream "I am depressed and I don't care who knows it!" Your art is only extending the feelings you are trying to get rid of and making people run when they see you coming. It makes you look like this. Nobody wants to hear or see or read this kind of blatant display of raw emotion and despair. Stop now, while you're ahead and still somewhat respected for your creative side. 

Step Six: Be happy with being by yourself

Many people are happy with being with themselves until they form an amorous addiction. This step is easier for these people, because they know how to live life without another person. However, there are some people who have never been happy with being by themselves. These people must learn that they are their own best company, friend and confidant. This step includes, but is not limited to sex. Masturbation is an important part of this process. Part of being happy with being by yourself is being happy with having sex with yourself. The danger in step three is that many people, while happy with being by themselves and sans amorous feelings, seeks out sex with other people. This will inevitably lead to new amorous feelings, no matter how much you may deny that sex creates emotion. You must be willing to depend completely on yourself, for everything that makes you happy. You will make mistakes during this step, but don't let them discourage you. It is only natural. The important part is that you learn from your mistakes. Don't fall into old habits. Pick yourself up, and vow not to repeat the mistake.

Step Seven: Go out in public as a single person...who wants to stay single
Now that you are happy with being by yourself, you are ready to go out in public without patrolling for a new partner. This is important. You are still healing and you don't want to settle for the first thing that comes along. If you don'T, you will have to start the 10 step program all over again, and we don't want that. Go out to bars, make conversation, have fun, and at the end of the evening, go home alone and be happy with it. If you follow this step, you will avoid THE REBOUND, which is a terrible, terrible thing that leaves many people crushed and shattered. THE REBOUND, can disguised itself as something real and meaningful, but don't be fooled. It is only your old amorous feelings coming out of hiding and trying to take control again. Remember, you are out in public to socialize, and have fun, not to find a partner. Practice this sentence: "I am unavailable." Say it to yourself over and over again, practice in front of a mirror, do this until you believe it.

Step Eight: Go on a date, and don't fall in love

Now you are ready to start dating. DATING is the operative word here. You have moved on from you amorous feelings addiction, so you should be able to date without falling instantly in love or have feeling similar to it. Go on a date, maybe make out a bit, and then go on another date with a different person. Do not allow those amorous feeling to surface until you have been dating for a LONG TIME. If you start feeling the amorous seeping through, take a step back and some time off.  Dating doesn't=love. Again, keep saying this to yourself until you believe it.

Step Nine: Go ahead and fall in love

OK, now you're ready to reintroduce yourself to the world of love. But be careful. Make sure the other person loves you back. Don't move to quickly. Don't make any life altering decisions until you are sure this is the one. Don't make the love you are feeling be your focus, make THE PERSON your focus. You can do it, I know you can. If you start feeling yourself falling into that old pattern, remember what you had to go through to get to this point. Amorous feelings are a wonderful thing, as long as you are in control of them and they are not in control of you.

Step Ten: Start the Ten Step Program again, because you know you fucked up and let your amorous feelings get the better of you, just like the last time, just like everyone else, because it's natural, and normal, and sucks and hurts, and you do it anyway because you're HUMAN.

'nough said.